¤ Monday, October 16, 2006

God...ever got the feeling like everyone hates you? For some odd reason I just felt that. That cold shiver that you see something that just makes you hate...I just felt that.
Fuck feelings. I wish I couldn't care about stuff and issues. I just wish I didn't care. But, I do now...at 2:06 in the fucking morning I do...I hate people. I just hate them. I hate how some people think they are better than you because you're giving them all the attention and they don't give jack sqwat about you. Its like once in a blue moon, Okay I noticed you...now give me all the glory. People don't give a shit about me. Noone does. I'm never going to be someone's special someone. I tried going out on my own since noone is comming for me and look how it tured out?? Total BS. It just made me more angry. I also hate the fucking people who ask "why" all the time. Why this, Why that?? God! Are you two?! Just accept for stuff the way the way it fucking is. I don't have to explain myself the whole time. And I'm never EVER going to find the person I will like and love and cherish. Never. I haven't even gone on a fucking date yet. How long have I thought this way? Part of middle school and Highschool. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. And it seems that theory is correct. Noone loves me. I can't understand other people. Also, I'm not that very nice. Sure I maybe happy on the outside...but i'm not really on the inside.

woo...I needed to get that out...not that anyone reads this anyhow. I only type in this only to get out my angry feelings. And I have noone to really talk to and trust. I'm beginning to not trust anyone now. If something is wrong I just keep it inside. I think that's wrong to do but hey...who am i going to talk to? The one who doesn't respond? And only says, 'what am i supposed to say?' or '...' or other one fucking word responces. Of course I have noone else... Or the ever so famous girl who talks about her absolute most wonderful boyfriend 24 hours a day? Who probably doesn't understand my reasoning or logic. Noone does in the end. I always get my ideas turned around. "Oh why don't you make up with her" "I hate to see her cry" "What that doesn't make sence" "you're going to find someone *fake encouragement*"
I wish I just had that one person that I could go to...I'll have to find that person later...for now...I guess I'll have to just keep on tugging along on this shitty thing called life.

¤ Thursday, September 14, 2006

Blah! Not depressed anymore...past that...And I do think I'll get someone...*smiles*

<3 love ya!

¤ Tuesday, September 5, 2006

God...I swear on God's green earth noone likes me...Noone ever will! And I don't what you say...And wishes DON'T come true. Because I made a wish on my birthday cake and it still hasn't come true. I keep wishing and hoping and NO...I think it's because I'm not attractive enough...I'm fat, ugly, stupid, I don't have much to talk about at first, I don't have any good qualities whatsoever...Why am I so desprate!? I think I'm jealous. I am still jealous over her...why!?

¤ Friday, September 1, 2006

*pouts* I don't know what to do Mr. Journal. *mutters to self*

¤ Friday, September 1, 2006

Wow! September first already...*shakes head* My Birthday was the 30th of August! w00tness.

Today, I went and saw a movie with Miss Elle! <3 We saw the Illusionist. It was sad at the beginning, but super cool at the end! Its like...Sherlock Holmes!? ^^ Then we went to Target and I got nail polish...Its kinda of a redish color called, Wing it Wine. I should put it on tonight! Anyways, after that we went to Panara Bread! Elle and I had a Tomato and Basil Chrispani and shared a I.C. Mango and a Chocolate Raspberry Brownie with white chocolate shavings on top. They were all de-lish. Next, we went to GameStop and then over to Fashion Bug where I watched Elle change into some cute dresses. ^^ Then drove over to her home and hung out until 10:00!

Didn't quite feel like going home, so I called Tel and hung out with her for an hour or so. Twas fun.

¤ Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Wow! Alot has happened since...July? Anyways, Lets start from a couple days ago.

Friday, 28th. Doctors [don't ask what that was about]. Then took Tel and Josh out for dinner. I needed to get out after the doctors. *nods* Then stared at a llama for like 45 minutes at Kerbers. It was a very fat llama and it only stood up for like 5 minutes to just shit. To get more grass it just rolled over.

Saturday, 29th. Museum again! It was actually pretty interesting! ^^ I worked the breaks, which is better than sitting at a cart all day. Then went to church. After that, I went and hung out with Michelle at Panara Bread! w00tness. It was so fun! XD

Sunday, 30th. Josh's Birthday party! ^^ Went over to Jakes and just swam and played Nancy Drew with Tel.
"Hotchkiss to Earth. Come in Earth!"

Monday, 31st. Hung out with Matt and Tel. Sang Karaoke. Mall. Chinese Food. Ramen. Swam. Walked. Movie. ^^

Today. Barnes and Noble and mowed the lawn! I want to make some brownies and...watch "Blazing Sadles" again. *nods* I should do that.

¤ Monday, July 3, 2006

YAY! I get Tel's strawberry! *spins* *dances*

¤ Monday, July 3, 2006

Woot! Pie is so fun to make! Expecially if you don't know if the recipe is safe to use or not. ^^;; Ya, the other day Tel and I made blackberry pie! With fresh blackberries we picked...We picked about 2 gallons of berries. *nods*

Now that we made pie we're going to make some real food such as, queche...and other such stuff. I'm not sure what other real food we could make. We should just go through some cooking books together and see what we could make.

OH! The Cheesecake Cafe will be open in the next few weeks! Can't wait for that! Coffee coffee X3. And they said they wouldn't serve me espresso T-T...

And also not to forget...I <3 Teru-kun! I love her as much as my manga collection! X3

Note: Teru-kun was not holding a gun to my head...This time >>

¤ Thursday, June 29, 2006

[10] [26,2] [11,3] [8,18,26,4,15,11] [3,16] [12,18,9]! [12,3,19] [22,3,2,18] [11,12,18] [14,18,13'11] [18,17,18,9,23,13,12,10,1,14] [26,1,20] [18,17,18,9,23,3,1,18 26,1,20] [10] [14,18,13 11,12,10,13]?! [13,12,10,11] [5,10,11,11,18,11] [2,18] [3,16,16]!

Well, I just typed that in a code! *proud* But, I did that because I don't want anyone reading that...except the people who can figure it out. Well, that's the way I feel and I don't understand it! *grumble grumble* People...I don't understand them...They do one thing and and bam another! *sigh* I don't know who to talk to about this. Maybe its for the better that I just keep it inside for now. Better for everyone I suppose.

¤ Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hmm...UPDATE!!

Okay so there's so there's alot to talk about. School is out. I'm currently taking a summer gym class so I don't have to go through gym during the school year. This class is totally great! XD Looking at college's...I don't know where I'll be going yet but...*shrugs* Anywhere I go will be awesome! Trying to study Japanese II so I can go on to Japanese III my senior year! w00tness. That's basically it...>>

What I do want to do this summer is go back to Philly visit my sister and eat at Morimoto's, and also go to New York!! XD

¤ Sunday, May 21, 2006

Ah ha! Good day today...Almost done with my art project! >___^ It looks so yummy! (note: It's a shrunken head >>;;) Anyways, yesterday I got about 4 books at Borders! The Da Vinci Code (wahh...everyone read this ><), Samurai Deeper Kyo vol. 6 and 7, and vol. 4 of Decendents of Darkness. So good!

¤ Saturday, May 20, 2006

OH MY GOD! UNICORNS AND BUNNIES AND UH....SPARKLELY THINGS! Okay, happy enough!? *Michelle still holding a gun to my head* Okay...well...worked on my art project all day and woke up at 3 in the afternoon so there's no excitement here now...But I am heading to the store now so ta ta!

¤ Saturday, May 20, 2006

Ahh...sorry about that last entry...>>;; I was extremely pissed and had to yell at something. But, as I look back on it, it did hurt alot. There is no excuse to do that to your friend...IF I am her friend...*sighs*

Oh! Guess what I have to do today?! Work on my art! w00t! I'm makin' a srunken head ^^. I think it looks pretty de-lish!

¤ Thursday, May 18, 2006

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!! Fuck you! I hope every last person burns in hell for all fucking eternity you bastards! I trusted people. I trusted!! Why the hell does it blow up in my face?! And you know what...I hate people who are going out, okay. You always take the side of your fucking loved one. Like my friend just said to me, "Oh, I don't want anyone finding out about this and you have to hint about it in the halls oooooo!" I said I was sorry at first...then she has to go on saying that she regrets telling me everything. Thinking that I might have hinted about it to other people!! What the hell is up with that?! I trusted her with my secrets, everything...and this is what happens?! I said I wouldn't do it again! Me?! Who the fuck would I tell?! I have no friends. Not anymore. Friends suck. They do nothing for you.
Everything happens for a reason...but there is no reason for this. I hate people...maybe if I just died people won't have the problem anymore with me.

Die and Burn in hell. Assholes.

¤ Wednesday, May 16, 2006

Today...was a good day I suppose. Went to school, worked on my art, went to doctors, got a dress for Erie, ate at Fridays, went over to tel's house, and I don't know...sitting here writing this?!

My dress is soo pretty! It's black with a little ruffle in the front where my boobs are...hey, if I don't tell you that where would you know where the ruffle is! eash...